Thursday, January 3, 2013

He's Here! Our Long awaited Baby Liam is here!

Hello All! I know, I know....I'm kind of skipping ahead after not posting for SOOOO long! I still wanna update you on some of our summer and fall happenings, but for now, this is what's happening in our lives! We are excited to announce the birth of our 5th baby boy! Liam Henry Scoubes was born on December 27th 2012. He was 3 weeks early and my biggest baby, weighing in at 8 pounds 8 ounces and 19 inches long. He is a precious rainbow baby and we are immensely grateful and blessed to have him join our family! I know many of you have weathered through the roller coaster of my pregnancy and are just as excited to meet the little man! So thank you for all your love, support, and help through the last few months!
Here are some of my favorite pics!
Liam Henry Scoubes
(Pretty perfect if I do say so myself!)
 Conner holding his new baby brother!
 Dylan looking so proud!

Oliver looking so tender with Liam
Aiden loves holding his baby bro!
 The whole fam!

This picture of all my boys brings tears to my eyes!

 The Scoubes Fab 5!  We got our Basketball team :-)
First night home from the hospital--looking so stinkin adorable!

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Forgot to Post.....But New Ones Coming!!

****SIDE NOTE!!!! I started this last April and COMPLETELY forgot I had started it and never posted it.  So I'm still gonna post it, but then QUICKLY follow it up with more updated and recent posts :-)

I guess I should apologize for the crazy long absence I've had from the blogging world--super sorry!   The last post you read from me was about my miscarriage.  We have tried our best, as a family, to move on.  Sometimes moving on implies forgetting, but we definitely haven't forgotten (especially since the baby companies keep sending me coupons and formula and magazines and ....need I go on?!!) However, we do feel like moving on and living our life to the fullest is what is best and actually helps us to be grateful for the heartache.  In fact, moving on means I'm training for a half marathon--yes, you heard me right, a HALF MARATHON!!  You may be asking me, ARE YOU CRAZY??  And the answer is...probably!  But hopefully a good crazy that helps me get healthy and in better shape and gives me something to work towards and look forward to!!  But that aside, I hope that through sharing about the miscarriage I have helped someone or touched your heart in someway. 

As much as I'd like to say that by moving on we have happiness bubbling and are full of energy, but that isn't the case (gosh darn it!)  I still have my days on the couch, where I struggle getting my butt off of it and wish I could crawl into a hole, but what can ya do but be grateful for the days where I do have the umph and energy to get up and get going!!  There are times where I wish were a better mom, but I know my kids are still pretty happy and dealing with the mom they do have.  I just hope and pray they don't look back and wish they had a better or more involved mom.  With that being said, I would like to share some pics of happenings around the Scoubes home the last few months (that I've been MIA), so you can see we actually have been living life, and a pretty darn good one, at that!!

My Birthday and Valentine's Day (Breakfast in bed from the boys)

Oliver's Soccer Team

Extreme Air Sports

Dylan's Birthday

Mother's Day (YES! We found out on Mother's Day we are expecting!!)

Okay, so that's all for now. Hopefully more to come and updates for summer!  Thanks for bearing with me and hanging in with the SCOUBES FAMILY--we love you all!

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

A Simple Phrase and a Loss

On my last post I know I mentioned trying to figure out my next few blogging adventures.  I think I'm gonna try to catch up, but need to get a few things that are happening right now blogged about so I can keep moving forward (in a personal sense).  And since also mentioned that I was going through some personal things, I think I'm getting to the point where I can actually talk about some of them. 

Probably the number one thing I'm working through in my life right now is that about a week and a half ago, I had a miscarriage.  This was my 3rd miscarriage, but so different than the other 2, for multiple reasons.  With the first one, I knew from the very beginning, something was wrong--it just didn't feel right.  So when I started to cramp and bleed, it wasn't all that surprising.  The second one didn't get past a yolk sack, so in my mind, despite that I  was pregnant, it wasn't a baby.  But this one, I was close to 10 weeks, and when I had the ultrasound and saw the little bean, I was so excited!  The technician pushed the sound button and there was no heartbeat.  I immediately started bawling, feeling so completely sad and let down.  A million thoughts flooded my mind in such a short amount of time.  Despite that this pregnancy took us a little by surprise, we were excited and felt like this was the way Heavenly Father was telling us that there's another little spirit for our family.  So if it was meant to be, why would we lose the baby?  We hadn't told hardly anyone we were expecting, but we had told our boys--afterall, I was 2 weeks past the timing of the other 2 miscarriages, so we thought we were safe.  Thinking about having to tell them the baby died in my belly was an excruciating thought.  The technician gave us a moment and went to go get the nurse.  When she came in, she gave me a quick hug and ushered us to a back room, where we could have sometime to come to grips with what we had just learned and marinate in our thoughts--our baby had no heartbeat--there would be no baby--oh my gosh, again?--how are we gonna tell the boys?--sooooo sad!  She came in and told us our options.  After having experienced a miscarriage on my own, I refused to do it again and requested a D&C (dilation and curettage).  We scheduled it for 7am the next morning.  We sat there a little longer and then went out the back door, so I didn't have to face or see anyone.

** Before I go on, I would like to make a disclaimer--I mostly talk about me in this post, but I would like to say just how AMAZING Jared was through all of this.  He was sad and emotional, but he was solid and my rock.  He listened, he helped, helped some more, and let me feel what I was feeling and more than anything, was understanding.  He has done his best to be a loving husband, a great daddy, and still try to cope with everything on his own, as well.  I love you Jared and I'm so grateful for you and your love!! **

Jared and I went to the car and made a plan for the rest of the day and how we were going to tell the boys.  Then I drove home, crying uncontrollably.  I called my mom and we cried together.  She was kind enough to offer to call my dad and siblings to tell them the sad news.  I went home and told my sister, Candice (who happened to be watching Dylan and Aiden).  She was amazing and immediately went into  "help mode" and took the day off to be an emotional support and help me try to still function.  As the day progressed, Jared picked the boys up from school and we came home and had a little family meeting to tell them what had happened and what was going to happen in the morning.  Conner was sad, but didn't show too much emotion, just some sad little tears that ran down his face. Oliver was so tender, he ran to me and cried in my arms.  Dylan was very matter of fact--the baby died in my mom's belly--he reitterated that multiple times as the day went on, kind of like he was trying to make sense of it.  The rest of the day was a blur.  That night as we were saying prayers and prepping the boys for the morning (since we would be at the hospital), little Oliver came up to me, hugged me, rubbed my belly and said, "Good bye baby".  How sweet is that?  I started bawling all over again.  Oliver is so tender, I can always rely on him giving me an emotional moment to always remember...thank you Ollie, you'll never know how much that meant to me.

When I talked to one of my dear friends, I cried and told her my feelings.  Amongst them were that I've had 7 pregnancies and ONLY have 4 boys to show for it.  In a very kind and loving way, she then said, "Not to take anything away from what you're feeling, but it's not that you ONLY have 4 boys, but you have 4 amazing and beautiful boys!"  That simple phrase made me totally rethink the situation.  YES!  I have 4 beautiful, crazy, fun, stinky, hilarious boys!!  Not only 4 boys, but 4 BOYS!  Does that make sense?  Thank you, Julie.  Not only for reminding me of my precious gifts, but for helping me cope in a different way! (oh, and the super yummy dinner too!)

So many thoughts and feelings have happened over the last week.  I know I've probably overloaded you already, but there's one last thing I would like to share that has truly helped me.  This thought has been a major influencing factor in helping me cope with the loss of my baby.  I went and talked a therapist and something she said clicked with me--not that it was something I didn't already know or have heard before, but maybe it was just the way she said it. Irregardless, it has helped.  She said, "There is a spirit and it needs a body, but for some reason, just not that body.  That body wasn't going to allow it to perform all that it needs to do here on this earth.  It wasn't going to allow it to reach its full potential and it needs a different body."  Thank you.  It's helped, it really has.  Take it for what it's worth to you, but for me, it's helped me accept the loss a little more willingly.

And for any of you out there that have experienced a miscarriage or something similar, I'm so sorry for you. I'm sorry for your loss, for your heartache, for your sadness. Maybe something I've said will help you know you're not alone and let you know I'm here if you want to talk or need a listening ear. I'm trying to realize and remember through all this that:
1) I'm strong!!!!! (gotta keep reminding myself)
2) I get to be sad and it's ok
3) I know my Heavenly Father loves me and is aware of me
4) I'm so incredibly grateful for the children I do have and get to love/hug everyday!

Ok. That's all for now.  I know part of the healing/grieving process is to be able to talk about it and the fact that I can, surprisingly makes me happy.  I know I'll be sad and grieve for a while, but this is a small step to feeling like my heart isn't hurting so bad.  So thank you for letting me share, for hanging in there through this post, and for reading.  I'm sure I'll be seeing some of you, so give me hug and let me know you're there :)  I'll try to post soon, but if I don't, you'll know why.  Thanks again.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Quick Update via Pics

I've had a lot on my mind lately....everything from do I keep blogging about the summer despite that I keep getting further behind on things like Halloween, birthdays, Christmas and just everyday hoopla? Realizing that my friends who blog on a daily or every other day basis are SUPER dedicated and if I tried to do that, you all would be bored out of your minds and I would be scratching my head as to what I could pull out of the other end to blog about! How I feel like the Gospel helps us feel grounded and gives us knowledge not everyone has about life and what's expected of us, but how knowing what's expected of us sometimes is rather overwhelming.  I just have a ton going on personally, like I'm sure all of you do, too.  I don't want to sound like a pity party or like I'm looking for sympathy, just kind of giving you a glimpse of what I'm thinking and feeling lately.  Not to mention that it's been a RIDICULOUSLY long time since I've posted.  So super sorry you've seen a pic of laundry the last month or so. 

What if I throw out a few pictures as a round about way of letting you see the goings on in the Scoubes Family as of late?  That isn't gonna cut it? Hmmmm, well, it will have to do for now, at least till I can sort through a little more of my life :)

Took the boys to Kangaroo Zoo and Conner was determined to get Aiden on a slide with him

Dylan with cousin Tova--he adored her!!

Our version of Saturday afternoon fun :)

I actually managed to get all four boys smiling!! 

 Extreme Air Sports (super fun place to jump and bounce...when there aren't a million other kids doing the same!)  Conner and Oliver on the climbing wall

 Aiden loved it when I would toss him into the foam pit in the kiddies play area

 Conner on the trapeze platform getting ready to dive-bomb into the one of the foam pits!

 Conner in the process of getting braces.  Many of you heard over and over just how excited he was to get them!  The kid hasn't eaten this much oatmeal since he was 2!

The first official smile with braces on!

The boys and Taj at McDonalds--gotta love the little poser in the middle!

Ok, so that about does it.  We were lucky enough to have my sister, Melissa, and her 2 adorable kids visit for a couple of weeks.  We were able to squeeze in some fun activities and the boys loved having Taj to play with and beautiful little Tova to hold and love on--it was so fun having a girl around!!!!  However, we've had more going on than just fun, believe me.  There's still the everyday arguments about homework, showering, chores, practicing piano, and bedtime. But there's also lots of hugs, smiles, and mom being grateful at the end of each day!  My boys cease to test my patience, but also cease to amaze me at how loving and kind they can be, taking care of me by brushing my hair when I don't feel good and trying to help with their baby brother.  How is it that I forget how wonderful mommyhood can be?  I mean, it's not always wonderful, but lately I'm super duper trying to remember just how blessed I am to be a mom of 4 beautiful and crazy boys!! 

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

You Know What?

You know what??  There IS an upside to NOT folding laundry--yes, that is my GIGANTIC pile of clothes that is overtaking the downstairs.  Here it is.....every ounce of clothing in the closet and drawers get worn and they realized, "hey, I actually do like these pants!"  Clothes have been worn that were before avoided.  And since I'm too lazy to fold, they're too lazy to dig.  Gotta love it!

(well, not love it, cuz the clutter is actually driving me crazy, but maybe appreciate the "new" upside!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Happy Birthday, Aiden!

I'm gonna break from our regular catch up posts to give a shout out to my baby boy who is turning 1 today!  Aiden, you put a smile on all of our faces and our family wouldn't be complete without you!  Love you, baby boy!

(by the way, he is SUCH a daddy's boy!)

I know I'm partial, but he is one cute kid! 

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Conner's Baptism and More Summer Fun!

So, where were we?  Oh, that's right. Onto June.  Just a few short days after school got out, Jared's sister, Leah, and her husband and kids came to visit.  They live WAY too far away and it was such a blast to get together, have fun, eat good food, go to some fun places, and just spend time with each other.

Not that you can tell by reading this, but this is like attempt #5 to blog.  If it’s not one thing, it’s another, and really, I can’t be bugged, cause I know I’m a mom and all, but I’m still kind of bugged. Thanks for letting me vent.  Ok, Back to the Enbody Family visit and Conner’s baptism.  Leah, Louie, Tyler (18), Kendal (16), Mackenzie (4, ALMOST 5), and Nicholas (2) drove out from Redding, California to be with us for some summer fun and Conner’s baptism.  Tyler graduated from High School just a couple days before (woot, woot!!) and then they jumped in the car and headed our way. And might I add, that they hauled a whole lotta equipment they didn’t have to, just to help us with a MASSIVE home project on their vacation—cause they are awesome like that!  One of the things Jared and I have wanted to do since we moved in this home was knock out the low kitchen soffit ceiling with the ugly light box. Since Lou owns a small drywall company back home and is an EXPERT, we thought we’d make him work for his stay—ha, ha. Not really, but everyone was kind enough to help us, despite it was their vacation, despite it would make the kitchen unusable during their stay, despite the mess it would make, despite it was their vacation (did I say that already?).  It was a family effort, with Tyler and Kendall helping clean, Leah stamped the new ceiling texture, and everyone had to be willing to deal with a modified kitchen in the front room.  Not to mention, we twisted the girls’ arms to go shopping quite a bit so we could get out the house and let the men do their thing (as they pound their manly chests)!! 

But somewhere in there, we were able to go to the Provo Beach Resort for a night of fun. The Mayan Restaurant—and when we told Kendall there were divers that dove into a small pool in the restaurant, she thought we were lying! Yes, we proved her wrong and had a fun night!  Also, Keir and Robyn were able to join us and all of the adults were able to go to the Salt Lake City Temple to do some temple work for Louie’s grandparents and great grandparents—it was such a special experience!  Then the Enbody family was able to go to Temple Square and the Conference Center together, just as a family, to be able to have that experience together!  
                   (i must have been a lame photographer cause I barely have any pics of their trip--sorry!)
Macky on the Merri-Go-Round--all smiles!

Nick--sorry for the blur

A little less blurry--notice the smile on that cute boy!

Oh, and last, but definitely not least, Conner’s baptism!  He was baptized on June 11, 2011. It was such a surreal, yet super special experience having my oldest child baptized.  Grandpa Packer and Aunt Candice were the speakers, and Uncle Louie and Uncle Cameron were the witnesses, and Jared performed the baptism and confirmation.  We had our dear friends, The Maile Girls, sing a special musical number, and with all the love we felt from family and friends that attended, it was an amazing day!  One I hope Conner never forgets and will always be able to look back on and remember how loved he felt.  Afterwards, we went up to Grandma and Grandpa’s house for a yummy lunch of homemade Costa Vida salads and burritos.  And for dessert, one of Conner’s favorites, Fatboy ice cream sandwiches.  We played the day away and had fun visiting with family we hadn’t seen in a while (Aunt Mary, Kayla, Jacob, and Krissie).  Thanks everyone for your love and support in attending Conner’s special day!

 Louie, Nick, Kendall, Conner, Mackenzie, Tyler, Leah

 Grandpa having a tender moment with the special boy

 Cousin Jessica, Conner, Aunt Robyn, Ashley

Dad, Conner, and Mommy

Aunt Candice and Conner

 Grandma and Grandpa Packer with the special boy

 That expression is priceless!!
I think that about wraps up the first couple of weeks of June.  THANK YOU Enbody family for sacrificing all you did to come visit us in good ole Orem, Utah!  You live entirely too far away and we absolutely loved having you here!  Not to mention the facelift on our kitchen is AMAZING and we  more than love it!  Thanks for giving up a huge part of your vacation to help us make our home not only look better, but way more open and spacious!  Oh, and might I add, Macky and Dylan were 2 cute peas in a pod and had a grand time playing about and just being cousins!  And Tyler and Kendall, you put up with quite a few little boys all at once, so thanks for being troopers!  And Leah, you are my hero!  Really, I strive to be like you and how amazingly patient and kind you are! And Louie, you are a great patriarch to a great family—well done, brother, well done!  WE LOVE YOU ALL!!