Sunday, January 16, 2011

So Much Better!

I appreciate all the understanding and love from my friends and family despite my craziness...I'm definitely feeling better.  For anyone wondering about my Post Partum Depression, I'm doing better.  I guess I just thought since I hadn't experienced it yet (at the six week mark), I wasn't going to.  Silly me.  And to add to it, I was already on a low dose of meds which added to my notion that it wasn't going to get me.  Alas, it did, and is, but I was able to recognize it (bout time!) and safely up my dose of meds and can already tell a difference.  Thank goodness for modern medicine that helps me on a daily basis!! I've learned there is no shame in taking a medication that helps me control my sadness and anxiety and helps me function as a happier, more calm, patient, loving and rational me.  I would recommend it, and have, to many who feel like they aren't themselves anymore and the sadness is ruling their lives--I know just what it's like.  After my 3rd baby, when I struggled with the decision of going on meds for my PPD, Jared helped me see it from a different perspective.  He told me, "What's the difference from my dad having to take medication for his diabetes or your dad for his blood pressure?  Something in their bodies isn't able to do it on their own and the medication helps them.  No difference with you.  Your body isn't able to make the chemicals it needs to and if you function better by taking it, it's a no brainer."  Well said, my love, well said.  So any of you out there reading, that's my plug to help yourself whether it's PPD or just situational depression, there is help. I'm of the opinion knowing someone else out there feels the way you do is comforting.  And any of you who know me, know I'm a talker.  I would love to hear and be a listening ear if you want to share or need to talk to someone else who knows what you're going through.  Phew, sorry.  Long tangent. 

We have had an interesting week around here, I got mastitis and Conner had surgery to get his adenoids out.  Thank goodness for antibiotics, because as fast and horrible as the mastitis came, within a day of getting medicine I was already feeling better.  Not to mention my Aiden has been an angel through it all--he really is a blessing I'm so grateful to have.  So sweet and such a snuggler.  Nothing better than a snuggly baby! :) 
Conner has been such a trooper through his surgery.  He was calm the morning of, didn't cry or freak at all.  Usually when kids come out of general anesthesia, they totally panic.  Not him, he was calm and sweet.  Jared and I were there waiting for him and he was a little groggy, but good.  He ate a couple of slushy's while in the recovery room and then we were able to go home.  I was a little worried he was gonna whine and milk this for all it was worth, but he hasn't.  He's been mellow and mild and only complained when it's truly bad.  He woke up this morning pale as a ghost and with a slight fever, but has slowly improved throughout the day.  And since there is no school tomorrow, he thankfully has another day to recover.  The doctor said it was a good decision to have the surgery, he only had 10% breathing room cause the adenoids were blocking 90%  of his nasal airway.  Due to months of his stuffiness, he learned to adjust how he talked and now he sounds kind of silly and will have to re-learn how to talk "normally".  But we're just grateful he was able to get the help he needed, will have less colds and sinus infections and can BREATHE!!!

More than anything, Oliver and Dylan are jealous that Conner has been able to have an endless supply of popsicles the last couple of days.  Other than that, those two little turkeys are doing great.  Oliver continues to be the easy going and willing to please everyone sort of kid.  Dylan continues to follow Oliver around like a shadow and most of the time, Oliver puts up with it.  Aiden had his 2 month check up this last week.  WHAT?  2 months??  Where has the time gone.  In certain aspects it has been a HARD and LONG 2 months-- adjusting to having a 4th, dealing with annoying winter sicknesses, and my PPD.  But at the same time, it feels like it's gone by in a blink of an eye.  My newborn baby is now 12 lbs, in 3 to 6 month clothing, and smiling and cooing at us (which is absolutely adorable!)  How did that happen??  I'm just trying to soak in every minute and finding myself doing things I have NEVER done with the other 3 boys (such as co-sleeping with him most nights).  That's ok, he's most likely my last and I get to indulge both myself and him.  I'll enjoy it while I can. :)

I'm learning to take more pics, I just need to take the time to download them.  As I've read others blogs, I love seeing the pics, it's what makes me come back for more.  So hopefully I'll get some updated pics for you all and you won't be bored by reading my ramblings and will get to SEE it.

Okay, thanks for reading, sorry if it was boring.  Despite my pity parties, I do realize I am truly blessed and that helps me keep going on a daily basis.  I couldn't do it without my sweet husband who played Super Dad multiple times this week and my crazy boys who keep me smiling.  Have a good week and sending happy vibes your way!


  1. So good to hear you are doing better. Maybe I should consider that after my next. I need to talk to you about the process when we get together next.

    IT was good to hear Jared's blessing for Aiden. He is darling. I love that picture of the boys in their PJ's too.

    It's not boring to read your blog btw. You crack me up!

  2. You're great Amanda!! I LOVE that you talk so honestly about your PPD. I really think it's great and I wish more women would be so open. I'm glad to hear you're feeling better.

  3. I know this is a month past your original post, but I wanted to say thanks for posting this and let you know you definitely aren't alone. I had the 'baby blues' with each of my kids, but with Chloe is was chronic. I didn't really notice it because it came on quietly and slowly. She was actually over a year old before I realized that I just wasn't the same person I used to be. And I, too, and very grateful for modern medicine!